The Actors Life?

I had a strange moment last night during “Brighton Beach”. I walked on stage in my first scene and sat down, and I heard a woman in the front row (which means they were close enough that I could touch them) say “It’s Joe Smash!”.
I didn’t recognize the voice at all. I spent the rest of the show trying to spot who it was. As it turned out, it was nobody I knew. I was approached after the show by the group they were sitting with. They were fans of the OCUBS shows and recognized me from that. The guy who approached me said he was surprised I wasn’t just grunting on stage. I pointed at the woman, “It was you I heard!”. She was embarrassed, but we had a good laugh.
Sometimes, acting gets so surreal for me. Just the other night I had one of those moments where I’m on stage, saying my lines and I become hyper-aware that I am on stage.
I’m in a show.
People are watching me.
What happens if I just… stop?
What do I do if I screw up and can’t recover?
What if I just walk off stage? Can they get someone to play my part tomorrow?

I get these thoughts every once in a while. I remember opening night of my first Guignol, three years ago. I was backstage, about to walk on and deliver my first lines of “Gorge Rising” and started to panic. What the Hell was I doing here? I couldn’t do this? I’m not good enough to do this! I can’t ACT!
Then I took a deep breath and walked out there. Most of the time, I walk out there and I’m fine. But, sometimes that little voice creeps in…